Just because you’re older doesn’t mean it’s over.
“I have a graphic that says, ‘Old people have sex. Get over it, ”says Joan Price, a 77-year-old award-winning writer, public speaker, and educator who specializes in sex for seniors. “There is no expiration date for sexuality, but many people let go of it because their bodies are no longer functioning as they did before. Instead, we can customize, invent, recreate, and relax in whole new ways exciting sex. “
What has changed?
When you were younger, hormones drove sex. As you age, your hormone levels decrease.
In men, this means lower testosterone levels.
You can notice:
- Shorter orgasms
- Weaker ejaculation and less semen output
- You need more stimulation to get and keep an erection
- You need more time to get another erection after ejaculating
In women, estrogen levels drop before and after menopause.
You can notice:
Illnesses and illnesses, medications and surgeries can affect your sexual health, as can your body image.
“Some people say, ‘Oh no, how can anyone want me with all these wrinkles?’ or, “I can’t have sex because my erections are unreliable,” Price says. “But sex can be better at this time of life than ever before because we know ourselves. We know what we need and what we get into in sex and want to live. “
Tip 1: communicate
Communication is the only sex tip for everyone of all ages.
“Older people weren’t taught to talk about sex or even acknowledge sexual pleasure and what they need,” Price says. “We haven’t learned to say to anyone, ‘I would really love it if you did this instead.'”
Whether you’ve been with your partner since dinner or for decades, no one can read your mind. Things that felt good when you were younger may not feel good now. Don’t Fake It: Learn Loving Ways to Say What You Need.
“Validate where we are mentally and physically,” suggests Price. “Say, ‘I cannot hold this position because it hurts my knees, back or neck.’ Or ‘We have to have a threesome with a sex toy now because I can’t orgasm without her.’ “
Tip 2: broaden your conception of good sex
Since a lack of hormones makes it harder to reach orgasm as you get older, you may not be able to cross the finish line in the same way as you did before. But you can still enjoy the ride.
“Sex is better when it’s not goal-oriented. We can relax in the joy of sensation, ”says Price. “Take out the expectation that sex must be intercourse. There are many other ways to give and receive pleasures and sensations – and maybe orgasms as well – instead of having that one sex act that you always thought was ‘real sex’. “
Tip 3: try a sex toy
As you get older, a sex toy isn’t just an improvement. It can make all the difference between having an orgasm or not. Price, who also reviews sex toys, says there are many wonderful toys out there for both partners.
A good sex toy should be strong enough for your aging body, but built in intensity instead of going from zero to 100 mph. It should also be:
- Can work for a long time without losing charge
- Easily rechargeable
- Made of body safe materials
- Comfortable to hold for long periods of time
- Lean (Price Says Aging Vaginas “Don’t So Welcome The Girth”)
Perhaps most importantly, your sex toy is something that you can easily control by how you look or feel. “There’s nothing less sexy than fumbling for your glasses so you can see the controls on your sex toy,” says Price.
Tip 4: experiment with comfortable positions
Your point of contact may no longer feel good.
“Rather than ‘trying a new position,’ I encourage people to find the position that is most comfortable for them – the one that allows you to focus on the comfortable feeling without pain,” says Price. “You can explore new positions for novelty and then sit back in the position that is most comfortable for you.”
Tip 5: role play with a partner or in your head
The role play gives you the freedom to say anything, do anything and be everyone. Communicating with your partner in advance will prepare you for success. Start with questions like these:
- Should we play one fantasy at a time? Or come up with one together?
- Name something that just makes you think, even if you never would in real life?
- If we were to try to play what you just described, what role should I play and how should I play it?
If your partner is not familiar with this, you can always role-play in your head.
“Our main sex organ is our brain,” says Price. “You can role-play in your imagination without anyone knowing. It is not a betrayal of what you do with your partner. It’s an improvement in what you do with your partner. “
Tip 6: consider age-appropriate eroticism
As you consume younger erotica, you may be more depressed than aroused. Look at age-appropriate porn, magazines, books, or websites.
“Older people are already aware of how constrained they are with the aging process, including pain and the inability to do things the way they used to,” Price says. “Celebrating, not just recognizing, age is a wonderful way to stay sexy and zesty as we get older.”
Joan Price, Timeless Sex Advocate, Sebastopol, CA.
Mayo Clinic: “Senior Sex: Tips for Older Men,” “Sexual Health and Aging: Keep the Passion Alive.”
University of Michigan: “Physical and Sexual Changes with Aging.”
Journals for Gerontology: “The Role of Androgens and Estrogens in Healthy Aging and Longevity.”
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